Through Someone Else's Words
by Leah by Michelangelo
Summary: One-shot. Leonardo and Raphael have a conflict that ends up being a very interesting look into Raph's thinking. Something is bothering the red-masked hot head and Leo is slowly growing more and more concerned. Can the eldest turtle figure out the meaning of his brother's behavior? It seems they can relate easier through the use of proverbs.


**I have been writing a lot of Raph and Leo brotherly fics lately, but there are so many endless possibilities and I feel, for some strange reason, that I can really strongly relate to these two. Anyway, this is in Leo's POV.**

* * *

**Through Someone Else's Words**

"Why don't you listen to me? I try to do what Sensei thinks is best!"

"Yeah well, the apple never falls far from the tree!"

"Why you—" I tackled him to the ground and was about to punch him in the face when I realized my anger had gotten the better of me. I pulled away and looked down at him. "Why do I put up with you?" I muttered, mostly to myself.

"Blood is thicker than water." Raph replied with a shrug.

I glanced over at him, an eye-ridge raised. "Why are you so calm?"

"I think you're steamed enough for the both of us."

I sighed, breathing deeply, still trying to dissipate my annoyance. "Well, since you are relatively calm I'm going to ask you to stop disobeying my orders. You always rush into everything. You're going to get yourself hurt. So please stop."

He smirked, his eyes glinting in that oh-so-familiar-way. I don't know what he's going to say, but I know I'm not going to like it. "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."

I was right. I definitely don't like the sound of that. But instead of countering him, and getting him riled up again I decided to keep the calm as best I could. "Why?"

He raised an eye-ridge at that and was silent for a good, long while. "I have a chip on my shoulder." Raph finally stated, quietly. I looked deep into his shining green eyes.

At first I thought he'd meant it literally. He did have a chip in his left shoulder after all, but then I recognized that everything else he'd said up until now had been proverbial. It was an expression wasn't it? A chip on my shoulder? Unfortunately, it isn't one I'm too familiar with, so I'm not quite sure what it means.

"I might have to ask Donnie what that means." I replied.

Raphael scoffed and I canted my head at him. He smiled, "True genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration."

I couldn't help but return the smile. Raph didn't smile often, at least not genuinely. "Would you prefer I keep it under my hat?"

He grinned, I could see he took that as a challenge. His smirk returned, "Yur gonna meet yur Waterloo, Fearless."

"Yeah? Well you're a few cards short of a full deck."

"Don't put the cart before the horse."

We were both smiling now. Throwing proverbial insults was proving to be very amusing.

"Every man for himself, and the Devil take the hindmost." Raph stated, as though he was setting the rules for our little 'game.'

"Fortune favors the brave." I replied and Raph frowned.

"You calling me a coward, Fearless?" He pouted, his hands on his hips.

"Do you secede?"

Raph sneered. "If you think that you know everything, you're a Jackass."

I raised an eyebrow. "That one must be relatively new."

"He who hesitates is lost." Raph shot back at me, prodding me to reply.

"Best to be on the safe side." I replied.

"He who pays the piper, calls the tune."

I was running out of things to say, I never was good with common expressions, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

"Takes one to know one." I glared at him. Though I had to admit, it was good response.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

"Eh, if ya can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen." My red masked brother smirked at me.

I smiled. "What if Sensei walks in and finds us doing this?"

He shrugged, and then he chuckled, "Like father, like sons."

I joined the laugh. "Do you mean it?" his green eyes glanced up at me warily, but I went on, "Many a true word is spoken in jest, right?"

He floundered for a moment. Then he whispered, "Life is what you make it."

My eyes narrowed. That wasn't exactly what I was looking for. He's evading the question. "So you mean I can think what I can decide?" Silence again. It seems the time for games had ended. "Well I think you are implying something. What? I'm not sure." I admitted, shaking my head.

He made no answer, but slid down against the wall and took a seat. I joined him, leaving just a little space between us.

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained." He muttered.

"So if I try, I will get some answers?" I demanded. Raph's eyes stared deeply into mine.

"Seek and ye shall find."

I nodded. At least that was a straight answer. "So what's with the whole proverbial phase?"

"There are two sides to every question." He said with a smirk.

Now he's just playing with me. "Raph. What's up?" What's wrong? I wanted to ask. Are you okay? But I knew that Raph wouldn't want to be babied.

"When it rains it pours, that's all." He muttered, sadly, and I sent him a sideways glance. What was that supposed to mean? Raph hadn't been having any troubles lately, at least not that I knew of. He shrugged. "Like I said, I've got a chip on my shoulder."

I frowned in confusion. "I don't know that one." I admitted.

"What you don't know, won't hurt you."

Silence spread between us again, "I'm worried about you. You don't usually act this way."

"Worrying never did anyone any good."

I sighed. "Then maybe you should tell me what's going on with you so we can get this sorted out."

"Perhaps silence is golden."

"No it isn't, it's uncomfortable." I retorted, desperately trying to get him to talk to me.

"Half the world doesn't know how the other half lives."

I paused, thinking that through. "Why? Why can't I understand you?"

"I never let the sun go down on my anger." I couldn't help but detect a slight note of sadness in his voice.

"Never say never." I countered. "Please Raph can't you just talk to me? I'm not going to let this go. Not without a fight."

His neutral expression melted into a deep frown. "He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword."

I glared at him. That was obviously a jab at me and my katanas. "Don't start with that, Raph. I'm not looking for a fight. I just want to understand."

He jumped to his feet and headed for the door, pausing just before he left, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."

* * *

The next day I asked Don to remain a moment after morning training. Raph's eyes flew up to me, sensing the reasoning behind my request. When he didn't leave I cleared my throat and addressed him, "Do you mind leaving us for a minute Raph?"

He glanced at me and shrugged before walking out.

I turned back to Donatello, "Hey Donnie?"

"Yeah Leo?"

"How good are you with expressions?"

His brow wrinkled, "Like what?"

"Like proverbs. Do you know a lot of them?"

He nodded, his light brown eyes giving me a rather inquisitive glance, which I ignored. "What does: I have a chip on my shoulder mean?"

Donnie's eye-ridges shot up. "Well, it's not so generally used, but the basic interpretation is carrying a burden or a heavy load as it were. Oh, or it could mean a sense of inferiority."

My eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

The brainiac gawked like he was surprised I'd actually bothered to ask him that. "Yes. Of course."

"Okay. Thanks Don." I thought for a moment in silence.

"Um…Leo, do you still need me?"

I looked up and realized I'd just zoned out without telling Don he could go. "Oh no, you can go. I need to meditate for a little while. Figure out what he was talking about."

"What was that Leo?" he asked, looking confused.

"Oh nothing, I just need to meditate."

He left and I took my usual position in the middle of the dojo. My mind went back to yesterday's conversation with Raphael, running over the important bits of information in my head. Particularly his comment 'when it rains it pours.' Raph had been sour all afternoon yesterday. So whatever had happened had probably happened in the morning. I thought back to morning training. Sensei had been particularly hard on Raph yesterday morning. And afterwards, Sensei pulled him aside and they'd spoken in private. I should speak to Master Splinter.

I knocked quietly on Sensei's door. I waited until he answered. He glanced down at me neutrally. "Leonardo. Is there something I can do for you, my son? You seem troubled."

"Hai Sensei. I am concerned about Raphael. I spoke to him yesterday, and he was…well he seemed upset. I know you spoke to him after training and I just…I was hoping you would tell me what went on. I want to help him."

Sensei sighed. "It is not something you can help him with I'm afraid, Leonardo. He has been neglecting his training. He doesn't practice the way he used to. It has only started recently, but if he continues on this path he won't be able to excel with you and your brothers."

"Well, why hasn't he been training?"

Sensei looked down, "I wish I knew, my son."

I frowned. "I'll talk to him, Sensei. I…I want to help him."

Master Splinter nodded.

* * *

When I left the dojo Mikey told me that Raph had left. I went out into the sewers after him. I found him a couple hours later, miles from home in a back tunnel system that had been out of action for years. "Raph."

He jumped to his feet, in attack stance, relaxing as he realized who I was. "What do you want, Leo?"

"Sensei says you've been neglecting your training. If you don't keep up you won't be able to keep moving forward with us, and you could get restricted to the sewers."

"So?"

I gawked at him. "SO?! That's all you can say? Raph, you don't seem to understand."

"I understand perfectly, Leo." He growled. "We train so that we can go and fight, protect the innocent, risk everything, and come back with nothing to show for it. Well what happens if one of us doesn't make it back, huh?"

I stared at him. And slowly, I spoke. "Please Raph, talk to me? What's bothering you?"

Raph glared and threw out a hand, "Talk is cheap." Then he turned his back to me.

I grabbed his shoulders and turned him back around to face me. "Please." I stared him directly in the eyes.

"Leave me alone, Leo." He said, quietly.

"Not until you talk to me!"

He sighed. "I just…Do you think it's worth it?"

I canted my head. "What is worth it?"

"All the trouble we go to. We train so hard, work so hard, slave away saving lives. Why? What's the point? They'll never acknowledge us. They don't even know we exist. We have to live our entire life in the dark. We'll never be loved, never live out our lives on the surface, never have families, never carry on. Nothing. We're just going to keep on going until we get old and gray and then we're going to die down here. And all that effort all that work, for what? Why? What's the point?! I don't want to die here, Leo. I don't want to die down here in the dirt. In the dark. I-I…"

I saw tears forming in his eyes and I yanked him into my arms and hugged him tightly. I had to make him look me in the eyes. "Of course it's worth it. And we do have love. We have the strongest bond there's ever been between brothers, and it's going to stay that way. We will support each other. We keep each other going. Maybe we'll never have a family of our own, maybe we'll never live normal lives, but at least we'll have each other. Don't you ever lose hope. There is always reason to keep going. Always! Don't you ever give up! Never! No matter what happens. I'll always be here."

Raph returned the hug after a long moment and I smiled, small tears running down my face. "It's okay Raph. It's okay."

"'M sorry." He murmured into my shoulder. I pulled away slightly and looked down at him.

"For what? There's nothing you need to be sorry for." I said comfortingly.

"For doubting."

I smiled at him. "Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom."

His quiet chuckle made me smile. Yes, we'll always be there for each other. And I'll always look out for my little brothers. Always.


End file.
